Relationship Counsellors Jo Nicholl & Andy Metcalf
Welcome to Couples Counselling London. We are two very experienced therapists specialising in Couples Counselling, Relationship Therapy and Pre-Marital Therapy in SWISS COTTAGE. We bring our Specialised Training alongside our own experiences as a man and a woman to support couples struggling with being in a relationship and what can sometimes seem like insurmountable problems.
WHY SEEING A MALE AND FEMALE THERAPY TEAM WORKS
As a male and female therapy team we can provide you with the emotional support, balance and understanding you both need. Working with a male-female team is highly effective and leads to positive results because we are working with developed skills to support couples to move beyond their struggles. You both will feel heard and supported in a way that is unique to working with a male and female team. Working with two therapists can be more effective and faster.
"Andy and Jo gave us a balanced and fresh perspective; sitting with a male and a female therapist we both felt very heard and supported and were better able to understand each other."
"Being so close to our marriage ending, it was a relief to discover, through our work with Jo and Andy, that we could work out our problems and keep the marriage alive".
AS A COUPLE YOU MAY BE EXPERIENCING
- Communication has broken down.
- Separation/ divorce seems like the only option
- Discovering an affair.
- Sex is not enjoyable/ not frequent enough/stopped
- Strong tensions in a step-family
- Violent verbal or physical out bursts
With our experience in Couples Counselling and Relationship Therapy, we know it can be difficult to take the first step into counselling. An initial consultation is a great place to start, where we discuss the issues that are troubling you and think about the best way forward. You will also be able to decide whether we are the right fit for you. Our consulting room in Swiss Cottage, North London is easy to access from both Swiss Cottage and Finchley Road tube stations. Parking vouchers are available.
Couples Counselling can help you make a fresh start
- Move from resentment to understanding
- Restore intimacy, passion and loving feelings
- Gain insight into destructive patterns
- Understand how to meet each others needs and get your own needs met
Find out more...
Thoughts from our Practice as it Evolves.
From the Observer on Sunday 9th July:
Big Data scientist Seth Stephens-Davidowitz writes about how
much we can learn from analysing Google data:
" In our sex obsessed culture it can be hard to admit that you are just not having that much. But if you're looking for understanding or advice, you have, once again, an incentive to tell Google. On Google, there are 16 times more complaints about a spouse not wanting sex than about a married partner not being willing to talk. There are five and a half times more complaints about an unmarried partner not wanting sex than an unmarried partner refusing to text back.
And Google searches suggest a surprising culprit for many of these sexless relationships. They are twice as many complaints that a boyfriend won't have sex than that a girlfriend won't have sex. By far the number one search complaint about a boyfriend is " My boyfriend won't have sex with me. "
What we learn from Google !
Grayson Perry writes: “ When I am talking to men and want to explain the role of vulnerability in our relationships, I use the metaphor of the contact patch. When we are on two wheels, whether riding a motorcycle or a bicycle, our lives often depend on two tiny eclipses of rubber, the contact patches. The contact patch is the part of the tyre that is in contact with the road at any one time. Within limits the softer the rubber or the lower the tyre pressure, the more the tyre deforms and the larger the contact patch tends to be, and the more grip it affords. In a relationship, being moire vulnerable means more of you is in play and you are more prepared to be impacted upon by the other person. I can’t emphasise the importance of vulnerability enough. It is central to
Men’s future happiness. We need to rebrand vulnerability and emotion.
Grayson Perry The Descent of Man p120.
In June 2017, we made this note:
We are working more at the moment with the sorts of understanding that Alain de Botton is so good at providing. Here is something from his book:
" The particulars of what arouses us may sound odd and illogical, but seen from close up they carry echoes of
qualities we long for in other, purportedly saner areas of existence:understanding, sympathy, trust, unity, generosity and kindness. Beneath many erotic triggers lie symbolic solutions to our greatest fears and poignant allusions to our yearnings for friendship and understanding." Alain de Botton: The Course of Love . You can also click on his website - alaindebotton.com.
What is important for us is that change starts to happen in a couple's life with the acceptance that many of us yearn for friendship, connection, and understanding...and that yearning has a symbolic life that we can connect to. And value. Therapy can help guide couples into these arenas of symbolic power to so that a loving and passionate fire can be rekindled.